Effects of verbal abuse on children can be more serious, and it is one of the most overlooked forms of child abuse (1). It is often falsely represented as a form of “tough love” or “disciplining.” However, there can be long-term and short-term consequences. Children may feel humiliated, ashamed, or unloved and may not express it. They may also hesitate to communicate with parents who verbally abuse them. Threatening or yelling at children can negatively impact their mental health eventually. Read on to know the side effects of verbal abuse in children and some positive parental strategies.
Short-Term Effects Of Verbal Abuse On Children
While the damages caused by verbal abuse cannot be seen externally, it leaves behind a psychological impact that often makes it difficult for the child to get over. The short-term effects are described below (2) (3) (4):
1. Routine or clinical depression
Demoralizing or yelling at children can result in negative outcomes.
The child may develop inferiority complexes and may keep himself aloof from others. This condition may become a permanent, that is, clinical one if the abuse is allowed to happen frequently and for a long term.
2. Deteriorating mental and physical performances
With lower self confidence, the child may exhibit poor mental and physical performances.
If a parent for instance says, “I know you will win the race”, the child will automatically start assuming that he has won the race and he will have no doubts in his mind, irrespective of what the outcome may be. On the other hand, if you told your child “you just don’t have the stamina”, he will get nervous about the poor outcome predicted for him. The child at this point may decide to lose to prove that his parents are right.
3. Develop inferiority complexes
When a child is yelled at constantly, he starts believing “there must be something wrong with me”.
He starts developing inferiority complexes and feels his friends to be superior to him. Since he has been suggested that is not at par with others, he starts assuming others to be better than him and this in turn makes him abusive as well.
Long Term Effects Of Verbal Abuse On Children
Children who have been subjected to constant verbal abuse suffer from permanent health and psychological disorders. Here are discussed some of the behavioral troubles:
1. Health issues
Depression leads to “substitution chain”, in which the victim, to satisfy his pleasures, tends to indulge in overeating or stop eating altogether. This affects his growth and development of bones, muscles and vital organs are also impaired. The child, thus, gets weaker and weaker with time. As shown in the graph, hospitalization of children due to abuse and neglect in the US increased significantly in 2020 when compared to 2019. The Covid-19 pandemic made the situation worse as people were forced to stay indoors due to lockdowns.
Hospitalization due to child abuse and neglect in the US
2. Low self-confidence
Qualities of dominance and confidence are vital for a successful professional life and a satisfying personal life for adults. Its absence can result in frustration and depression.
3. Low hope in life
Victims subjected to constant verbal abuse may fail to develop a positive outlook and show poor self-confidence that might cause problems in their later stages of life.
4. Become addictive
The drive to accomplish a goal often keeps us away from alcohol or drugs. Again, if you look at the simple fact, the hungry will look for food while the depressed will look for addictive substances to keep themselves away from reality.
5. Develop anti-social tendencies
The worst side effect is that abused children often grow up to be damaged adults and abused parents as well. Several studies on criminals’ childhood have established links between verbal abuse and the individual’s criminal history.
Emotional Child Abuse Vs. Verbal Child Abuse
Sometimes verbal abuse can also be emotional abuse. In many cases, emotional abuse is a form of constant emotional maltreatment or neglect that your child feels subjected to, either by you or someone else close to him. Emotional or psychological abuse can cause some very serious damage to your child’s cognitive, emotional, social, and psychological development (5). Sometimes, the parent or the caregiver will emotionally abuse the child knowing very well what the consequences can be. At other times, parents or caregivers can subject the child to emotional abuse without realizing what they are doing. Here are a few situations that can make your child suffer from emotional abuse:
1. Ignoring your child
You may be ignoring your child when you, or the main caregiver, are not present with him most of the times, to such an extent that he starts feeling lonely.
Also, in some situations, you may be physically present with your child, but may not be paying any attention to him.
Other situations in which your child may feel ignored are if you avoid making eye contact while speaking to him or do not frequently address him by name.
2. Rejecting your child’s needs
Rejecting your child’s needs could mean something as simple as ridiculing your child in front of others, which could seem a small incident to you at the time, but can have a grave and long-lasting consequence.
You may regularly refuse to respond to your child’s simple physical needs by not touching or hugging him. You may also be rejecting his basic needs and wants.
3. Keeping your child in isolation
Keeping your child in isolation means that you regularly prevent your child from being in touch with his friends or peers. It could also mean a situation where you prevent your child from having regular social interactions with other family members or adults. Keeping your child in isolation will also refer to those times when you may choose to limit your child’s freedom of movement, often in the way of keeping him grounded as a punishment. While many parents do punish their child by confining them, it can become a form of emotional abuse for the child if it is too frequent.
4. Exploiting or corrupting the child by manipulating them
If your child is suffering from the exploitative or corrupt form of emotional abuse, someone may be teaching or encouraging him to take part in activities that are inappropriate or even illegal.
In some cases, your child may also be forced into the same, sometimes without your knowledge.
Exploitative or corrupt forms of emotional abuse could involve behavior from the parent or the main caregiver that is antisocial or self-destructive. It could encourage risky behavior in the child by forcing him to lie or steal or get involved in flesh trade.
5. Verbal assault and abuse
The verbal form of emotional abuse of a child can also have a very strong and long-lasting effect on him.
A verbal assault could involve ridiculing, shaming, belittling the child on a regular basis. It could also involve a situation in which someone verbally threatens your child.
6. Terrorizing the child
When a child feels terrorized as a form of emotional abuse, it means that the parent or caregiver threatens or bullies the child to make him obey.
A parent or a caregiver can threaten or bully the child in various ways. It could be an act that puts the child in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation. It could also be an act of separating him from his favorite pet or toy or even a sibling until he complies.
In many cases, the child can feel terrorized or bullied when the parent or caregiver put unrealistic expectations in front of him. He may fear dangerous consequences if he does not meet the expectations.
A Few Facts On Emotional Abuse In Children
Here are a few shocking facts about emotional abuse in children:
Almost 90 percent of all child deaths are a result of instigation by family members or close associates.
Children who are victims of abuse have a 25 percent higher risk of suffering from various health and mental issues. Children who suffer from emotional abuse are prone to- teen pregnancy, delinquent behavior, dropping out of school, and substance abuse.
Tips To Prevent Emotional Abuse
As a parent or caregiver, it may be true that you love your child or ward, but it can also be true that you do end up making him suffer from emotional abuse unknowingly. It is true that even model parents yell at their children or ignore them sometimes. When such instances happen as a one-off behavior, it is not abusive in any way. However, the risk of emotional abuse starts to emerge when this type of behavior turns into a regular habit. While emotional abuse to a child can happen in any family with any background, there are some situations that can trigger it. Here are some situations that could increase the risk of emotional abuse (6) (7):
A family that is going through financial difficulties will find it difficult to take care of the child’s academic as well as other basic needs. A child in such a family is likely to face emotional abuse (13).
A single parent may feel unduly burdened with all the care and responsibility of the child. He may vent his frustration on the child and thereby emotionally abuse him.
A child is also at a higher risk of being subjected to emotional abuse in case there is a separation or divorce in the family. In such a situation, both the parents may be busy with the proceedings and may emotionally neglect the child.
